Do you tend to hold back when it comes to sharing your thoughts and ideas? Are you sticking to your comfort zone, not for lack of skill or talent, but because you want to avoid the consequences of taking a risk? You may need to master how to be more confident at work and in other areas of your life.
Yes, staying safe by doing what you know best can produce reliable results and keep you from getting hurt or disappointed. But when you don’t have the confidence to put yourself out there, you also miss opportunities to shine and make new connections.
Looking for advice on how to be more confident in yourself socially and professionally? While giving yourself positive affirmations is a good start, it’s wise to start with steps to help you conquer moments of self-doubt and face your insecurities. Follow the tips below for greater confidence in any situation.
Why is confidence important?
While confidence can be about feeling good about yourself and being willing to take risks, it’s also a factor in your ability to take on the challenges life throws.
In social situations, learning how to be more confident in yourself helps you turn up the charm and be a more active and present listener and speaker. This enables you to make more and deeper connections than you might if you gave in to the temptation to be a wallflower. These connections can then turn people into friends, mentors, and even partners.
At work, confidence usually manifests in your performance. Your confidence level demonstrates whether you can keep up and deliver or if you’ll succumb to pressure.
Here’s an example based on a Journal of Neuroscience study: when you have a big project or challenge, a confident person would effortlessly turn around the situation and develop creative ideas. New projects excite you because they open a world of opportunities. Any “problems” that arise are areas for growth and knowledge.
On the other hand, a less confident person might feel weighed down by self-doubt and uncertainties.
A lack of confidence can lead to poor quality of life. When you allow anxiety to unbalance your emotions or keep you from proper self-care, from asserting your wants and needs over others’ and from pursuing your dreams, your mental and physical health may suffer.
Confident people naturally believe in themselves, which can be contagious. They support high personal and professional growth, gravitating towards like-minded individuals and uplifting others who might need the boost. When you’re more self-assured, you’ll find others rally around you to achieve common goals.
Why do you lack confidence?
Some people are more predisposed to shyness than others. The first step in learning how to be more confident is understanding the roadblocks on your journey to being more assertive and self-assured.
In your personal and social life, you may find you lack confidence because of:
- Insecurity about your appearance, including your body, weight, skin, or teeth
- Awkwardness interacting with people, especially those you don’t know very well
- Pressure to conform to your peers or popular trends
- Media and celebrity comparisons
- Intimidation by others in person or on social media
- Physical or mental health issues
In a professional environment, low self-confidence may stem from:
- Lack of experience
- Not knowing your colleagues on a personal level
- Intimidating teammates or micromanaging superiors
- Perfectionism
- Fear of failure
- Feeling disconnected from your job or work environment
Can you develop self-confidence?
People struggle with confidence at work more often than you think. Research by Harvard Business School found that young female professionals battle poor self-esteem early in their careers. Feeling nervous or intimidated is natural when you’re new to a job. The good news is confidence seems to improve as you get older.
However, in some cases, the chronic lack of confidence could be rooted in deep-seated issues, such as childhood or past trauma, poor representation in your company, an innate shyness, or cultural bias.
For instance, another Harvard study finds that women are less likely to indulge in self-promotion than men, even when their qualifications merit it. It puts women at a disadvantage when it comes to promotions or opportunities.
In the personal sphere, everyone suffers from moments of self-doubt or criticism. Even the most successful individuals and the most famous and beautiful celebrities find themselves faking confidence from time to time. And many share the opinion that the secret of how to be more confident lies in moving forward despite the fear, failures, and pain that caused their insecurities in the first place.
As for specific tips, let’s break down how to be more confident in yourself and your body, at work and socially.
How to be more confident in yourself and your body
Feeling comfortable in your skin can take a lifetime to master. But there are many things you can do every day to ramp up your body positivity.
Focus on your health.
If you have insecurities related to your body, these will most likely be about how you look—your body weight or shape, the clearness of your skin, how straight or white your teeth are. But here’s the thing. Focusing on your looks will have you looking into cosmetic solutions that don’t address the underlying issues you may be experiencing. Instead, focus on getting healthy because looking great is one common side effect of improving your mental and physical state.
Find a healthy diet that leaves you satisfied without feeling deprived. Invest in a skincare routine that staves off the effects of ageing. Get moving, as exercise tones your body while giving you a hit of endorphins for a natural high. Finally, take the time to love and care for yourself—body, mind, and spirit.
Make your journey about progress instead of comparisons.
It’s only natural to see media coverage of the world’s most beautiful and successful people and compare yourself to them. But part of being a celebrity is selling an image of perfection that’s hard, if not impossible, to achieve. So while you should feel free to be inspired by your favourite celebrities and influencers, recognise that your journey differs greatly from theirs.
Keep things real and try to track your progress in your journey to a healthier, more confident you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, look at your personal growth since yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or even last year. Celebrate your wins and forgive yourself for any setbacks. And most importantly, keep moving forward.
Express your individuality.
There’s no single secret to being confident. But if there was one thing to remember when building your self-esteem, it’s to be yourself. This is why focusing on your personal journey is more important than comparing yourself to others.
Genuine confidence stems from knowing, understanding, and embracing who you are—strengths and weaknesses, wins and failures, warts and all. Find small ways to express your personality at work, school, home, or when you are out and about. Let your true self shine in your fashion and makeup, your hobbies, and more.
Smile more.
You’d be surprised how big an impact a smile can make on your mood and others’. Different kinds of smiles work for different situations and may benefit your mental and physical health. Smiling can make you feel more positive and lift the spirits of those you interact with, making them more inclined to be kind to you and others. So, a smile is one of those gifts that goes around and comes around.
If you are insecure about smiling because of misaligned teeth, don’t be. Talk to your dentist to learn about the various dental aligners available for you. If wearing braces and retainers fuels your shyness, ask about invisible aligners. ClearCorrect helps you straighten your teeth in style and comfort as it’s custom-fit for your teeth. Thanks to its resilient, cutting-edge ClearQuartz material and flat trimline design, you’ll enjoy a more natural look.
Find out if you’re ClearCorrect-ready with this smile assessment.
Begin with baby steps.
Are you embarrassed about your appearance because of smile lines and acne on your face or that small overlap in your teeth? Self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, but you can do little things to develop it.
For example, you can work on your posture. According to research in NeuroRegulation, straightening your back can simulate confidence. Faking it till you make it is fine in this case. It will eventually come naturally.
Get a great support system.
The people around you can impact your self-confidence. Find people who believe in you. Eventually, their encouragement will enable you to believe in yourself, too.
At work, surround yourself with a good team or seek a mentor who can guide you in seeing yourself in the best light. In your personal life, put real effort into your friendships. You’ll get as much support and joy as you give your friends if not more.
How to be more confident at work
Assuredness doesn’t happen in a snap. It takes determination, a conscious effort, and a lot of practice. Find out how to be more confident at work with these tips.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Are you scared to speak up or ask questions because people might judge you? Think of it this way – no one has a monopoly on knowledge, and everyone starts somewhere. Build your confidence by asking questions. It shows colleagues your interest in the matter, and for particularly large teams, it helps you be memorable. More importantly, it empowers you to find answers, understand things better, and avoid mistakes.
Learn to power dress.
Heard of the saying ‘Dress for the job that you want’? Being comfortable with power dressing can help display some self-confidence. When you know you look good, you feel good – and it will show in your performance. Other people also tend to have a more favourable impression of sharp dressers.
Value your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses.
Many times, you may underpromote yourself because you underestimate your skills and capabilities. People trust you for a reason, so you should not underrate your strengths and capacities. That said, you should also exercise self-awareness and acknowledge your weaknesses. The more self-aware you are, the more motivated you are to learn. And the more you know, the more confident you become.
When you come from a perspective of learning and growth, frame your mind to accept challenges and problems positively—instead of being shy and saying, “No, thank you.”
How to be more socially confident
Everyone gets a little awkward sometimes, and that’s perfectly normal. Turning on the charm is often easier said than done, especially if you’re an introvert. But you can learn how to be more socially confident a little at a time.
Be an active listener.
You might be surprised to learn that one secret to charming others is not about speaking and wowing with your words but actively listening to the people you interact with.
Here are a few tips for active listening:
- Give the other person your undivided attention. Face them, put away any gadgets, and show you’re a present participant in the conversation.
- Provide appropriate feedback and responses. Repeat points the other person makes to show you’re listening and you understand what they’re saying. Make noises or gestures to show you agree or want to learn more.
- Avoid assumptions and judgement. Keep an open mind, and listen to everything the other person says. Instead of getting defensive, ask clarifying questions to understand where they are coming from.
Don’t underestimate the importance of body language.
You begin to communicate using your body before you even open your mouth. Body language can convey thoughts and emotions, sometimes more successfully than words can.
In conversations with others, try to keep your posture open and forward rather than crossing your arms and leaning backward. You can also be more deliberate in making eye contact with people during conversations and smiling more. If you’re not so sold on your own smile, know that you can work on it with the help of your dentist and solutions to straighten your smile like ClearCorrect premium invisible aligners.
Practise, practise, practise.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is self-esteem. As much as you may want to take shortcuts when learning how to be more confident, you’ll find that it takes time, energy, and repetition. It’s not just about putting yourself out there once, but doing so again and again.
Keep applying the tips above to build your confidence, and you’ll find that each experience becomes a stepping stone to loving yourself better, becoming more assertive, and embracing your whole and authentic self.
Learning how to be more confident at work and in life takes a while, but keep your spirits up and be diligent in your efforts to build your self-esteem. You’ll see your confidence grow by the day!
References:
Active listening. Writing centre learning guide. (n.d.). University of Adelaide.
Exley, C. (2019, December 19). Why Don’t Women Self-Promote As Much As Men? Harvard Business Review.
Lee, D. J., Ybarra, O., Gonzalez, R., & Ellsworth, P. C. (2018). I-Through-We: How Supportive Social Relationships Facilitate Personal Growth. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(1), 37–48.
Peper, E., Harvey, R. J., Mason, L., & Lin, I. (2018). Do Better in Math: How Your Body Posture May Change Stereotype Threat Response. NeuroRegulation, 5(2), 67–74.
Zenger, J. (2021, September 17). Research: Women Score Higher Than Men in Most Leadership Skills. Harvard Business Review.
