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Making friends over food on a rooftop terrace, communication skills conceptMaking friends over food on a rooftop terrace, communication skills concept

How to Improve Your Communication Skills and Converse With Anyone

By: BeSeen Team

Date: May 26, 2023

Communication skills are necessary for everyday life, whether you want to deepen your relationships with family, easily make new friends, or reduce misunderstandings at work. Conversing well can help you effortlessly connect with people from all backgrounds. Below, we discuss some of these skills, their importance, and tips for developing them.  

What is effective communication?

According to the Australian Public Service Academy, “effective communication is about being able to deliver strategic and operational information quickly and clearly to a specific target audience or individual. As such, effective communication takes into account the needs and characteristics of the specific audience.”

Meanwhile, Australian Comcare specifies the importance of open and effective communication in a healthy workplace, saying, “open communication is a two-way process where both people feel safe and confident to share information freely, knowing that they will be listened to, and their views respected by the other person.” 

Based on this, it can be said that effective communication skills boil down to:

  • Understanding who you’re communicating with,
  • Keeping the communication avenues open both ways, and
  • Being clear, honest, and respectful.

How to improve your communication skills

Two young women conversing while sitting on sofa in living room
Active listening is a communication skill that shows interest and respect to build rapport and trust between people.

Communication skills refer to the various techniques and behaviour used when you talk to others. From active listening and empathy to clear language and a respectful tone, discover five different strategies to help you enhance your interactions with others.  

1. Try active listening. 

Active listening involves paying close attention to what someone is saying, verbally and non-verbally. It shows your interest in what others have to say and that you respect their opinions.  

This process helps you build trust, resolve conflicts, have a deeper understanding of the issue, identify problems and solutions, and increase productivity by reducing any misunderstandings due to miscommunication. An International Journal of Listening study found that actively listening, even on your first meeting, helps others feel more understood than if you gave advice or simply acknowledged them.   

Develop active listening by:  

  • Paraphrasing and summarising what was said to demonstrate you’re listening and understanding. Pay close attention without judgement or criticism.  
  • Asking clarifying questions without interrupting them. Wait until they finish speaking.  
  • Using nonverbal cues such as eye contact and nodding to show you’re listening and engaged.

2. Show nonverbal communication. 

Photo of businesswoman in conversation with a colleague
Nonverbal cues, like maintaining eye contact and a friendly smile, project confidence and warmth when talking to someone professionally or socially.

Nonverbal communication refers to your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can communicate your feelings and intentions, even without saying a word. They can help you convey confidence, warmth, and trustworthiness – or the opposite.  

A 2017 Journal of Advances in Medical Education & Professionalism study on teachers and the impact of their nonverbal cues on students reveals that their body language, facial expressions, and even tone of voice could help motivate students for better academic progress.   

Pay attention to your non-verbal cues:  

  • Use your body language to convey interest and attentiveness. Are you open and welcoming or closed and defensive?   
  • Be aware of your facial expressions. Do you smile often or appear cold and aloof?  
  • Consider your tone of voice. Are you loud and angry? Whining and frustrated? Or is your voice calm, warm, and friendly?  

Nonverbal communication refers to your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can communicate your feelings and intentions, even without saying a word. They can help you convey confidence, warmth, and trustworthiness – or the opposite.  

A Journal of Advances in Medical Education & Professionalism study on teachers and the impact of their nonverbal cues on students reveals that their body language, facial expressions, and even tone of voice could help motivate students for better academic progress.   

Pay attention to your non-verbal cues:  

  • Use your body language to convey interest and attentiveness. Are you open and welcoming or closed and defensive?   
  • Be aware of your facial expressions. Do you smile often or appear cold and aloof?  
  • Consider your tone of voice. Are you loud and angry? Whining and frustrated? Or is your voice calm, warm, and friendly?  

3. Exercise empathy.  

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes to understand how they feel or what they might be thinking. It can make others feel comfortable and secure and improves connection. Empathy increases emotional intelligence, strengthens relationships, and enhances problem-solving.   

Another study on empathic communication in clinical practice shows that teaching medical students empathy improved patient and personal interactions.   

Cultivate empathy with the following tips:  

  • Practise active listening to help you better understand other perspectives.  
  • Show compassion by expressing concern and offering support for their feelings and experiences.  
  • Avoid judging or criticising other people’s feelings or experiences.  

4. Adopt clear and concise language. 

Use language that is easy to understand. Articulation can help you get your message across effectively. It prevents misunderstandings, saves time at work, and enhances your credibility.  

Practise clear and concise language by:  

  • Using simple and easy-to-understand words and avoiding using complex or technical jargon, especially at work.   
  • Citing specific examples and details to help clarify your message.  
  • Considering who you’re talking to and their level of knowledge and understanding.  

5. Hone a respectful and non-judgmental tone. 

Effective communication skills involve being courteous in your tone and use of language. It can help build more positive relationships, improve connection, demonstrate professionalism, and avoid misunderstandings in your interactions with others.  

Get better at being respectful with these reminders:  

  • Use polite language, such as “please” and “thank you,” when making requests or asking for help.  
  • Listen actively to others and show that you value their ideas and perspectives.  
  • Watch your tone of voice and ensure it is respectful and considerate. Avoid sarcasm or humour that others may perceive as disrespectful or offensive.  

6. Consider who you’re talking to.

Understanding who you are communicating with is essential when building good communication skills. This can mean doing your research before meeting with a prospective employer, colleague, or client – because we live in a digital age, search engines and social media can help with this. It can also mean paying special attention to the other person, ensuring you’re an active listener, which we discussed above.

The better you understand your audience, the more you’ll see where they are coming from, what they may need, and how you can reach them effectively.

7. Be assertive.

ReachOut Australia identifies three main ways to communicate:

  • Aggressive communication, where you alienate others by speaking forcefully and with hostility
  • Passive communication, where you don’t express your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires, causing these to be dismissed by others
  • Assertive communication, where you clearly express thoughts, feelings, needs and desires without demanding that these take precedence over others’ 

Learning assertive communication skills is the best way to go as it allows you to establish boundaries and stand up for yourself and your rights while respecting others’ boundaries and rights. You’ll also find that learning to say no can be freeing instead of guilt-inducing, not to mention necessary for self-care.

8. In written conversation, break things up.

If you’re writing a report, sending an email, or doing any kind of written conversation, remember that the eye needs breaks. No one wants to be confronted with a wall of text, so break up your writing by using headers, paragraph breaks, bulleted and numbered lists, and more.

9. Think before you speak – and review before you hit “send.”

Words can hurt both you and others, so doing self-checks can keep you from making a social faux pas. This is particularly important when offering criticism or any kind of negative opinion. 

Before you say what you think and risk hurting or offending another person, ask yourself if it can be worded in a gentler fashion. Or if your comments are negative, do they also offer constructive feedback that the other person can take to improve themselves or their work? Think of it this way – how would you like to hear negative feedback from someone else?

Not self-editing can also hurt you. It can give off the impression that you are mean-spirited or, in the case of failing to check before hitting “send” on an email or text message, careless.

10. Leave the door open to future communication.

After you have communicated what you need to in a respectful and clear way, let the recipient know you’re willing to hear their point of view. This can mean comments like the following: 

  • “I’d like to know what you think.”
  • “I look forward to hearing from you.”
  • “Feel free to get in touch if you have questions, comments, or concerns you’d like to share.”

Remarks such as these don’t just tell the other person you’re open to engaging with them again in the future, but they also send the message that you respect and appreciate their opinions. 

Overcoming conversation breakdown

Woman turning her back to her man, not talking after a fight
Fostering communication skills can help clear up common conversation challenges such as assumptions, emotional reactions, and cultural differences.

Even with powerful communication skills, conversations can still break down or lead to misinterpretation, frustration, and even conflict. Here are five tips to overcome them:  

1. Keep the conversation going with open-ended questions.  

It encourages the other person to elaborate. Actively listen and respond instead of simply waiting for your turn to speak.  

2. Clarify misunderstandings.  

Confusion can occur because of distractions, assumptions, or unclear language. Asking questions can help give you clarity.  

3. Show interest by asking about others’ interests, hobbies, or opinions. 

Interest helps build connections and encourages the other person to feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.  

4. Stay calm if conversations get heated and avoid reacting emotionally.  

Take a deep breath and respond respectfully. It can help defuse the situation and prevent it from escalating into a conflict.  

5. Smile more.  

A bright, confident smile could be your secret weapon to smooth over any awkwardness. Your smile can convey a variety of things from an apology, to positive thinking, to attraction, and more.  

Are you shy about your smile because your teeth are misaligned or other dental or orthodontic issues? If so, ask your dentist about your options on your next visit. One comfortable and discreet option for teeth alignment is getting clear aligners like ClearCorrect. These use a resilient tri-layer ClearQuartz material, have a flat trimline, and are removable and practically invisible, so you won’t be shy about flashing your pearly whites even while in treatment. Get an online smile assessment to determine if you’d be a good candidate for ClearCorrect.

Good communication skills can help you navigate various social situations successfully and boost your confidence and self-esteem. You can improve your ability to connect and engage with others positively and meaningfully by practising the tips above. 

Does a lack of confidence impede your ability to communicate well? Try ways to build up your self-assurance via exercising, enrolling in self-help programmes, or even working on your dental hygiene.

According to the National Institutes of Health, tooth decay and bad breath contribute to poor self-esteem. Brush up on your dental habits, such as brushing and flossing. You can also drop by your dentist to see if there are ways to improve your dental care. They might recommend clear-aligner therapy if you have teeth overlaps or crookedness prompting poor oral hygiene. Learn more about this teeth-straightening solution via ClearCorrect. 

What communication skills do you use most often? If you found this article helpful, share it with your loved ones and enjoy more rewarding conversations. 

 

References: 

Abdikarimova, M., Tashieva, N., Kyzy, A. T., & Abdullaeva, Z. (2021). Developing Students Verbal Communication Skills and Speech Etiquette in English Language Teaching. Open Journal of Modern Linguistics, 11(01), 83–89.

Australian Public Service Academy. (n.d.). Effective communication. apsacademy.gov.au

Comcare. (n.d.). Effective communication. comcare.gov.au

Archer, E., & Meyer, I. S. (2021). Applying empathic communication skills in clinical practice: Medical students’ experiences. South African Family Practice, 63(1).

Bambaeeroo, F. (2017b, April 1). The impact of the teachers’ non-verbal communication on success in teaching. PubMed Central (PMC).

Kaur, P., Singh, S., Mathur, A., Makkar, D. K., Aggarwal, V. P., Batra, M., Sharma, A., & Goyal, N. (2017). Impact of Dental Disorders and its Influence on Self Esteem Levels among Adolescents. Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research.

ReachOut Australia. (n.d.). 3 steps to better communication. au.reachout.com

Vogel, D., Meyer, M., & Harendza, S. (2018). Verbal and non-verbal communication skills including empathy during history taking of undergraduate medical students. BMC Medical Education, 18(1).

Weger, H., Bell, G. C., Minei, E., & Robinson, M. J. (2014). The Relative Effectiveness of Active Listening in Initial Interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13–31.

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