What would modern romance be without online dating? In the 1990s and early 2000s, platforms like Match.com and OkCupid made it possible for romantics to fall in love over dial-up. Today, dozens of dating apps exist to connect people across multiple time zones – all in a few Wi-Fi-powered swipes.
Suffice it to say, what used to be a niche way of pursuing new relationships is now as common as flirting with that cute stranger at the bar. But online dating is still dating, even if it’s over the internet. Nerves can still get the better of you when love (or, at least, the potential of it) is on the line. Thankfully, online dating advice is as ubiquitous as the apps they try to guide you through.
Got the butterflies? Keep the fluttering at bay with the power of self-confidence! Give yourself a boost with these tips to help manage dating anxiety. Here’s how to hold your head high as you navigate the online dating circuit.
How to Not Be Nervous for a Date
Here are some tips to help keep calm, collected and confident on D-day!
1. Build your confidence offline.
A strong sense of self-worth gives you a critical edge when jumping into the tricky waters of dating, online or otherwise. When you’re confident, you can form authentic connections, communicate effectively, and set healthy boundaries with potential partners. It also keeps you from becoming dependent on external validation to feel fulfilled or worthy.
One way to build yourself up is by investing in self-care, which can take many forms. If you have dating anxiety from your insecurities about your crooked teeth or misalignment, especially when smiling, consider an orthodontic treatment like ClearCorrect aligners to help you develop a more positive self-image. They make it easier to smile with unabashed confidence! What’s stopping you from charming anyone with a cheeky grin – even through a screen?
2. Know what you want.
Ask yourself what you hope to gain from the experience. Some people want a long-term partnership, while others only want a fun, no-frills fling. Are you ready to commit or simply trying to stave off loneliness? You’re more likely to find like-minded matches when you understand your reasons for dating. There’s no “right” answer here, either. Be honest about your goals and communicate them! It’s less nerve-wracking to talk to prospects when you know you’re on the same page as them.
3. Spotlight your favourite features.
In the digital dating world, first impressions are everything. Since your photos are all people can reference to gauge your personality before they swipe, what you post must be unmissable. Convey confidence and approachability by uploading snaps where you look comfortable, happy, and self-assured. Flash a big, bright smile! Show off your soulful eyes, knife-sharp jawline, and other features you’re keen on. Just knowing you put your best qualities forward will make you feel cool, calm, and collected.
4. Share your hobbies and interests.
A foolproof way to ease into the talking phase with someone is to find common ground with them. Share what you’re passionate about in your bio! It’ll grab the attention of people with similar interests and filter out those who might have an aversion to what you like. It also gives you engaging topics to discuss, so your opening line can be more intriguing than a simple “hey.”
5. Sharpen your conversational skills.
The quality of your conversations can make or break a virtual connection. Without nonverbal cues like body language to keep sparks alive, you might find it more challenging to sustain someone’s interest.
So, how can you be a better conversationalist online? A few tips: ask open-ended questions to get the other person talking, then show genuine interest in their insights. Use humour to keep the mood light. Push through the initial awkwardness, and you’ll get into the swing of it eventually. Keep practising to banish dating anxiety in no time!
6. Take a breather when you feel overwhelmed.
Even if it all happens online (initially), taking multiple shots at romance can get overwhelming. Think of it as speed dating in the digital space: you’re swiping and conversing around the clock. Of course, not everyone you meet will be a good match, and a few rejections are inevitable. When chatting starts feeling like a chore, allow yourself to take a break from the apps. Rest, regroup, and reassess your reasons for putting yourself out there. It helps to remember that dating should be fun, too!
7. Trust the process.
When you get down to it, dating over the internet isn’t much different from dating “in real life.” You’ll still need to put in the time and effort if you want to form genuine bonds. You have to stay open to various possibilities, embracing the ups and downs as part of the learning process. Be patient and don’t lose hope! You’ll find what you’re looking for if you let yourself ease up a little.
Causes of Dating Anxiety
It’s normal to feel nervous on your first date. But dating anxiety can also creep in at any point. Studies from The Family Journal reveal a possible cause for dating nerves is a fear of rejection. Other factors that can cramp your date night confidence include:
- Previous relationship trauma
- Shyness or introversion
- Lack of experience dating
- Concerns about your appearance
Online dating shouldn’t feel like life or death. Sure, you should approach it with enthusiasm and a healthy dose of seriousness, but don’t let it send you into spirals of self-doubt. You have plenty to offer – all you have to do is believe it. Keep working on your confidence, and romance will follow!
Reference:
Rizvi, M. S., Tram, J. M., & Bergström, B. (2021). Fear of rejecting others: an overlooked construct in dating anxiety. The Family Journal, 30(1), 44–49.
